When is it really cold? ... only a question of attitude ....

+10°C
In their Helsinki appartments, Finnish people turn off the heating.
Lappish people (Inhabitants of Lappland) plant flowers.

+5°C
Lappish people take a sunbath, if the sun climbs over the horizon.

+2°C
Italian cars stop working.

0°C
Distilled water freezes.

-1°C
Your breath becomes visible. Time to plan a trip to the Mediterranean.
Lappish people eat ice cream and drink cold beer.

-4°C
The cat wants to come into your bed.

-10°C
Time to plan a trip to Africa.
Lappish people go swimming.

-12°C
Too cold for snow.

-15°C
American cars stop working.

-18°C
Houseowners in Helsinki turn on their heating.

-20°C
Breath becomes hearable.

-22°C
French cars stop working. Too cold for ice-skating.

-23°C
Politicians start pitying homeless people.

-24°C
German cars stop working (!).

-26°C
Out of your breath people could cut building material for igloos.

-29°C
The cat wants to come into your pyjamas.

-30°C
No real car works anymore.
The Lappish curses, kicks against the tire and starts his Lada.

-31°C
Too cold for kissing - the lips freeze together.
The Lappish soccer team starts their training for the spring season.

-35°C
Time to plan a hot 2-week bath.
Lappish scoop the snow off their roofs.

-39°C
Mercury freezes. Too cold to think.
Lappish people close the upper button of their shirts.

-40°C
The car wants to come into your bed.
Lappish put on a sweater.

-44°C
My finnish colleage thinks about MAYBE closing the office window.

-45°C
Lappish people close the bathroom window.

-50°C
The sea lions leave Greenland.
Lappish people exchange fingered gloves for mittens.

-70°C
The icebears leave the Northpole.
At Rovaniemi Universitiy (Lappland) a cross-country skiing trip is organised.

-75°C
Santa Claus leaves the polar circle.
Lappish people put down the earflaps of their hats.

-120°C
Alcohol freezes. Consequence: the Lappish is pissed.

-268°C
Helium gets liquid.

-270°C
Hell freezes.

-273,15°C
The absolut zero-point. Elementary particles don't move anymore.
Lappish people admit: "Well, yes, it is a bit chilly. Just hand me another schnapps-
popsicle."

Now you know the difference between Lappen (German for Lappish) and
Waschlappen (German for washcloth, but also pansy or pussy).